methodically

growing up

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 19:00:03 -0700

what is it to be a strong woman?
it's being comfortable in your own skin.
it's not changing yourself for your man unless he changes for you.
it's making sacrifices and living as an example to others.
it's facing your mistakes with humility and learning from them.
it's being passionate about something.
it's knowing the only things you have to prove are to yourself.

i love being a woman and i feel myself getting stronger every day.

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my love is

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:51:18 -0700

hold my hand
let's go see the sun
we will let gold dust our faces
and green brush our fingers and toes
and blue embrace us
come
we'll lay under the stars
and over the clouds
and i'll show you how everything can disappear
it is warm and soft here
and there is sugar on my tongue
kiss kiss
a spark will make your heart beat fast
and mine will be beat with yours
let's hold our breath so time stands still
and exhale into free fall
don't be afraid
a soft bed of flowers will catch us
and our impact will send petals swirling
a downpour of fragrant magic
a soft sigh...

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quixotica

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 09:11:20 -0700

these teasing thoughts of work vs play

flicker in and out throughout the day

i am proud of all that i have done

but the war continues in defense of fun

dreams of magic and wonder and light

persist through the day and into the night

they frolic around inside my head

fed by beauty seen and read

they fuel my movement through this life

and are shelter and shield from stressing strife

always mine, they are my own

evolving and increasing as i have grown

what would we be without our dreams

but dull, austere and loveless beings

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my room

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 14:54:48 -0700

my room is a mess

toys are innocence and wonder
mounds of clothes are an identity uncertain
dirty laundry has it's place
makeup is my glamour
a riding crop and a nudy book are sexual desire
a tent for security
a single sized air mattress is a temporary state of solitude
this large desk and computer is my true window
strewn mail is my responsibility
junk all over the floor is my mind overstimulated
2 doors increase the chances of letting someone in
but the blinds are always closed on the window my room came with
i stay hidden
in my messy room

when will it be neat?
when i am somewhere else for good

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addicted

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:57:35 -0700

When i see you
i can't resist, i don't
i give into temptation with a grin
that crooked grin

you hold out the needle
its in my fist i lodge it in

the rush, i pump it into my heart
it swarms my circulatory system

my eyes roll back
my spine retracts

i inhale
i gasp
you take over
the pleasure escapes in a moan
and sends me to my knees

as i walk away
my grin turns to satisfaction
i will get my fix again

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shit's weak

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:34:41 -0700

i can't believe i fell for it
all your sweet little lies
you built me up and knocked me down
and took me by surprise

so trusting and naive
i let you work yourself in deep
i knew i was getting ahead of things
but what's a skip without a leap?

it was fleeting it was fun
and in a moment it was done

here i linger on in shame
not sure where to place the blame

i lost the game

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they always call me doll

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:30:24 -0700

oh how i long to be played with but boys don't play with dolls
i'm too expensive anyway so i'll sit here on the wall

behind clear plastic in a box i watch the world go by
trapped, untouched, and unfulfilled i'm just stuck here asking why

many looks pass over me some interested to play
but when they see the price tag they turn and walk away

is it such an investment or am i undeserved
everyone wants to hear the song but no one wants to chase the bird

its tempting to give myself away to ease my need for touch
but when something isn't earned it's not emotionally worth as much

so i'll just be here sitting pretty waiting for my time
i promise when it comes that i'll be worth every dime

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The little things

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Sun, 14 Oct 2007 22:33:40 -0700

It's your kisses soft and sweet
It's the touch of our skin, bare
It's laying on the couch
It's your fingers in my hair

All the simple little things
Worth more to me than gold
Show the vastness of your love
Without a word being told

But of all the little things
It's when you look me in the eyes
I see your heart in those three words
And the heart knows no lies

I love you more and more for every little thing.

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wide-eyed soldier

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Sun, 04 Mar 2007 21:00:56 -0800

love is a battlefield, or so they say.

i am the wide-eyed soldier who fights accepting of an unknown fate. i will not lose to my own fears. there is no victory for the heart of a coward, only shame.

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blue

nobody@vox.com(methodically) — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 19:06:38 -0800

in my head you sit
this person i don't know
you used to have my heart
until i let it go

as i fell away
we quickly drifted far
until one day i realized
i'd forgotten who you are

we used to hug and kiss
we used to sleep all day
and now i can't imagine
why things are this way

it's not that i still need you
though i'd love to see your face
i just hoped when all was done
that we wouldn't be erased

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