hold my hand
let's go see the sun
we will let gold dust our faces
and green brush our fingers and toes
and blue embrace us
come
we'll lay under the stars
and over the clouds
and i'll show you how everything can disappear
it is warm and soft here
and there is sugar on my tongue
kiss kiss
a spark will make your heart beat fast
and mine will be beat with yours
let's hold our breath so time stands still
and exhale into free fall
don't be afraid
a soft bed of flowers will catch us
and our impact will send petals swirling
a downpour of fragrant magic
a soft sigh...
these teasing thoughts of work vs play
flicker in and out throughout the day
i am proud of all that i have done
but the war continues in defense of fun
dreams of magic and wonder and light
persist through the day and into the night
they frolic around inside my head
fed by beauty seen and read
they fuel my movement through this life
and are shelter and shield from stressing strife
always mine, they are my own
evolving and increasing as i have grown
what would we be without our dreams
but dull, austere and loveless beings
my room is a mess
toys are innocence and wonder
mounds of clothes are an identity uncertain
dirty laundry has it's place
makeup is my glamour
a riding crop and a nudy book are sexual desire
a tent for security
a single sized air mattress is a temporary state of solitude
this large desk and computer is my true window
strewn mail is my responsibility
junk all over the floor is my mind overstimulated
2 doors increase the chances of letting someone in
but the blinds are always closed on the window my room came with
i stay hidden
in my messy room
when will it be neat?
when i am somewhere else for good
When i see you
i can't resist, i don't
i give into temptation with a grin
that crooked grin
you hold out the needle
its in my fist i lodge it in
the rush, i pump it into my heart
it swarms my circulatory system
my eyes roll back
my spine retracts
i inhale
i gasp
you take over
the pleasure escapes in a moan
and sends me to my knees
as i walk away
my grin turns to satisfaction
i will get my fix again
i can't believe i fell for it
all your sweet little lies
you built me up and knocked me down
and took me by surprise
so trusting and naive
i let you work yourself in deep
i knew i was getting ahead of things
but what's a skip without a leap?
it was fleeting it was fun
and in a moment it was done
here i linger on in shame
not sure where to place the blame
i lost the game
oh how i long to be played with but boys don't play with dolls
i'm too expensive anyway so i'll sit here on the wall
behind clear plastic in a box i watch the world go by
trapped, untouched, and unfulfilled i'm just stuck here asking why
many looks pass over me some interested to play
but when they see the price tag they turn and walk away
is it such an investment or am i undeserved
everyone wants to hear the song but no one wants to chase the bird
its tempting to give myself away to ease my need for touch
but when something isn't earned it's not emotionally worth as much
so i'll just be here sitting pretty waiting for my time
i promise when it comes that i'll be worth every dime
